My mind is racing with something that I want to ask all of you. Are you believing the lies? I’m really talking to women, especially you mamas out there when I ask this question, because I used to believe the lies. When I became a wife and a mom, I thought that I had to come last, that there was no room on the list for me, that my life as I knew it was over, etc. But what comes with that that no one tells you, is that you think for some crazy reason, that your entire identity is wrapped up in being a wife and being a mom. You feel like you can no longer be you.
I struggled with these beliefs a lot for a couple of years after becoming a mom. I really didn’t know how to take care of me and fuel myself. I felt guilty if I did something or even wanted to do something that fueled me that was separate from my husband and/or my kids. It was really easy to fall into this trap of listening to the lies in my own head. I’m here today to tell you- DO NOT BELIEVE THOSE LIES. I LOVE my family. I love them with everything I have. I love being a wife to the most amazing husband on the planet. I have two amazing boys and my life is wrapped up into them and they are always my priority. But that does not mean that I stop being Christy. It does not mean that I have only become Larry’s wife or Nathaniel and Walker’s mom.
For a long time I believed that there was no way I could also be Christy while being “mom” and “wife.” I listened to that lie for a long time and it kept compounding. It got to a point where I wasn’t making time to pray, I wasn’t making time to workout, I wasn’t making time to eat right, I wasn’t even making time to just do things that I love. Things like spending time with friends, riding horses, watching movies, or just spending time alone guilt free. I lost myself for a while. I believe that this issue is so common with moms because we just don’t know how to balance it. We are so consumed with the love we have for our children, that we lose sight of the love that we have for ourselves.
What I’ve learned in my 9 years as a mom, is that it’s totally ok to be a mom and a wife and doing that job wonderfully, and also find outlets that are just about bringing you joy. It’s a big, fat lie when someone tells you or you tell yourself that you can’t do that because you’re a mom now. Build your own business? Nope, you can’t do that when you’re a mom. Go on a trip without your kids? No way, they can’t survive without you. Spend time alone? No. You gave that up when you became a mom. Bull! I listened to that lie for a long time and the only thing it ever got me was misery. I wasn’t miserable with my kids or my husband, but I was miserable inside. I had to dig deep to figure out what it was that really got me excited about this life besides my husband and my kids.
There is no reason to apologize for wanting more out of your own life. God said to me, “Christy, you were my child first. Before you were a wife. Before you were a mom, and I put you here for a reason. You have a purpose.” This revelation changed everything for me because it made me realize that I can actually be better as a wife and a mom when I’m also being completely true to who I am. Living out the purpose and the destiny that God put before me. Honestly, I was hiding behind the fact that I became a wife and a mom. I wasn’t feeling like I could do any more than that, and it’s just simply not true.
Is this message resonating with you? Are you that mom and that wife that feels stuck? Do you feel like there are things you want to do, but you have guilt about doing them and taking the time for yourself? I want you to breathe in the truth that you can still be a dang amazing wife and mom and also fulfill your true potential that might be outside of those roles. It is just mind-blowing, life-changing when you can finally own that truth.
God showed me that my personality was suited to inspiring others. And, maybe more importantly, he showed me that I can do that both inside my family unit and outside of it. I can do that outside of my home and still honor my top priorities. This is such a big truth that I had to meander my way through until I came to the point of no longer feeling guilty. It took some time, but I finally got to the point where I no longer felt I needed to apologize for wanting more.
We only have one life. We only get to do this one time. I don’t know about y’all, but I want to be the best possible me I can be in all aspects of my life. I want to enjoy every day I’m given. I want to feel amazing. I want to be able to enjoy my husband and my children wholeheartedly. I want to love myself wholeheartedly. I know from experience that this is all entirely possible.
Sit and think about it. Pray about it. Really be completely honest with yourself. I’m speaking from experience when I tell you that you will never feel more alive than when you are living to the true potential that God has designed for your life. If your life is on pause… girlfriend, it’s time to push play.
Y’all have a blessed day.