Surrender! How do you feel when you hear that word? Does it make you tense up? Feel out of control? Are you filled with the urge to fight back, refusing to give up the reigns and surrender?
If you were sitting here next to me, you would be able to see my heart rate increase as we begin the conversation about Surrendering. I’m one that likes to have control and am definitely all about knowing the “plans”! I mean, if I’m honest, not much happens in my household without me being at the center of the plans. Planning is my thing!
Now, let’s pause to imagine God laughing as I type these words. Because, I KNOW, I provide humor for him on a daily basis! I mean, who am I kidding? I have NO CONTROL! I am not the Ultimate planner of my life and how it will unfold. HE is!
I’ve been spending a lot of time the past few months slowing down and being still. Working to give up the reigns I love so much to hold on to and just frankly, getting out of God’s way. Y’all, I can wholeheartedly tell you I am a work in progress…probably always will be but I’m making progress nonetheless. I am learning the beauty in what truly surrendering to God really means. I am finding peace and freedom in not “knowing” what the next step is all the time. Yes, I really just typed that! I know…crazy, right? But SOOO true, girl!
Right now I feel like God has placed a blind fold over my eyes to help me learn to blindly trust Him and let Him be the ruler over my life, day by day and minute by minute. Easy? Ummmmm…NO WAY! But I am starting to really see the fruit of being blind. Seeking God first every day and giving my relationship with Him quality time is becoming a deep rooted desire in my heart and mind every morning as I wake.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world! All the “Things”; I mean it really never ends, unless, WE make a choice. Choosing God, seeking Him for the next step in our lives instead of what people on Instagram or Facebook would lead us to believe is next; that is the sweet spot! God is the sweet spot! And He’s got me and you!
He works is so many amazing ways that my mind is continually blown. One of the things I have been praying for and asking for him to intervene in is to make me desire to want to spent more time with him. And because He is a good, good Father, that desire is growing by the day! And it isn’t just a quick 5 minutes of reading a devotional to check the box. It is reading multiple devotionals, scripture, journaling, being still and praying. And that time is beautiful! Sacred! A time when God lays things on my heart and speaks over me because I am making myself deaf to the noise of life during that time so I can BE with Him. I mean, REALLY, be present!
He is working in me and I know this will allow him to work through me too! So, while surrendering used to cause my entire body to grow tense, I am learning to lean in, laying my life and all that I have at his feet. Surrendering it all with a joyful heart and an excitement of how He will use this transformation for His good! And even when I have a lapse in judgement to try and take the reigns back, God is there is lovingly loosens my grip and reminds me that His plan is always going to be FAR greater than any plan I can orchestrate! And, I am beyond grateful for that reminder because I do believe that with every fiber of my being but old habits sometimes die hard!
Can I get an Amen?
Who am I? What a question, right?
Do you ever take time to really ask yourself this question and then actually EVALUATE the answer?
So, I know, I know…I have been EXTREMELY quiet for a few months now! When I say I have been going through a lot of reflection, reinvention and rest…I’m not joking!
The past 5 years have been a journey! A lot of learning, growing, laughing, crying, frustration, stress, celebration, pushing, fun, sacrifice, losing sight of what “really” matters and oh so much more!!!
You see, all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and a mom! When I was 29 I became a wife and when I was 32 my first son was born followed by my second when I was 34. Life was EXACTLY as I wanted it to be and prayed for it to be for SO long. I was blessed and happy but also began to feel lost and like I was losing myself! SO easy to do when you are in the throws of raising a family, right fellow mamas?
So, when my boys were 3 & 5 I decided to do something for me. I decided not only to work on my own health and fitness but to also start my own business helping others do the same.
I dove in head first with every ounce of my being! And I loved it! So many wonderful things about it! I was surrounded by amazing people, making amazing new friends and feeling needed while I was contributing to the world in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Sounds all good, right? Well, the problem for me was; I started to allow the “business” to define me. Whether I was happy, sad, frustrated. Whether I felt accomplished, successful or like a failure was all determined by if I hit my monthly goals or if I was doing as well as “she” was! The comparison trap is OH SO REAL and VICIOUS!!!!
Now this is “MY” story and isn’t true for every person that decides to build their own business. But for me, I was missing the mark. And I don’t mean the mark in my business. I mean the mark in my LIFE!
I was allowing the wrong things to drive me, define me and determine my happiness! I had allowed myself to become so tense inside that I had NO IDEA how to just breathe and allow the cards to fall as they were meant to.
At least I had NO IDEA, until now! This story is far longer than I will share in one post, but my reality the past many months has been about remembering and understanding WHO I AM! Who God created me to be! Who I am as a wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend. I know God isn’t done with me yet! He has plans and I don’t know what those are yet but he pulled the rug out of from under me this past year to get my attention and help me refocus on the things that are the most important in life. My faith, my family, my friends and HIS purpose for me defined by no one else!
I have started a bible study that couldn’t have come along at a more perfect time! As I dive in it is helping me uncover insecurities, comparison and how to peel the layers of the onion back to get to the heart of who “Christy” is and who My FATHER created me to be!
So, for now, I am embracing time with my husband, my children, my family and friends. Time with God where I am working hard to listen and not just do all the talking! A challenge for me for sure! LOL!
REST is what God keeps saying! So, I am working on doing just that. No more agenda, pressure, comparison! Just me, in my lane, working to be the best version of myself as God intends!
My story will continue to unfold and I am at a place now where I am ready to begin sharing as I feel led to, not because I am pressuring myself with the “Oh my goodness I haven’t posted all day, I NEED to put something out there!” attitude!
I want to get back to being real, raw and authentic; agenda free! 2018 has a much different feel than the last few years have felt. I am excited for that and ready to see what God has in store!
Here’s to enjoying the journey and making progress in this life I have been given!
Do you ever stop and think how powerful a Prayer, YOUR Prayer, can be? In the midst of Hurricane Harvey and all the devastation, it has been laid on my heart to share that we can ALL make a difference. None of us are helpless and PRAYER is the answer!
Let’s band together to make a difference!
Hey, Fit Friends!
What is your dream?
One of the things that has been a dream of mine for a really long time, is to take some time off, away from everything and ride horses in the mountains. In God’s country. I wanted to be able to go with one of my girlfriends to experience a week-long getaway in the mountains of Montana.
2 years ago, I wanted to go so badly, but it just wasn’t in the cards for me financially. My girlfriend ended up going without me and when she came back and told me how incredible it was, I became determined to make it happen the next year. So immediately, I put in on my dream board. I also set goals. Things that would need to happen in order for me to reach my dream of going on this amazing trip. It didn’t happen overnight. For that next year, I worked my tail off. I saved chunks of money that I earned from my business and put it all aside to pay for this dream trip of mine. I worked hard and stayed focused on the goal, and then in 2015, I was able to make my dream a reality.
Y’all, it was as fantastic as I imagined it to be. Everything about that trip was a dream come true. I had found my happy place. I came home from that trip after 7 days and my family couldn’t believe how relaxed and at peace I was. My husband told me I was beaming. We talk about certain things in our lives that fuel us. Things that help us connect with ourselves and with God and what makes us tick, horses and mountains make me tick. I grew up on a ranch with horses and I just love them. To be able to make that trip a reality, was an answered prayer.
My point in sharing all of this with you is, I’m about to go again. I leave one week from Monday to go on this trip again. This time my mom is going with me and a few of my sisters-in-law, and some additional friends. I can’t tell you how excited I am to share this experience with more people that I love. When we have dreams and things we want to achieve in our lives, we have to work for them. We can’t just wish for it, we have to work for it. We have to work more than we wish, and that’s true with anything. Whether it’s a trip we want to go on, a business we want to build, a marathon we want to run, whatever the goal may be, we have to work for it. It takes a decision to make a commitment and then the drive to put one foot in front of the other every day toward our goal.
The thing is, when you’re working that hard and really putting in the effort toward achieving your goals… when you finally get there, it is so AWESOME! It makes you feel such an insane sense of accomplishment. I want nothing more than for my boys to see that and have them feel that exact same feeling. They’ve got dreams of their own and I want them to know that it takes work to get there. I want to live that by example for them.
Is there something in your life that you really want? What are you doing to achieve it? What are the steps you’re taking to make that dream a reality? It just takes one step at a time, moving in the right direction. You know what I love to say- progress matters!
Y’all have a blessed day!