I have this song stuck in my head this morning and I just CANNOT get it out! Do you know the song, “Free your mind?” Just think about that for one second. Free. Your. Mind. What I want to talk to you about today is the fear is not real.
I know you’re thinking I’m totally crazy right about now. You’re thinking, “I’m afraid of a lot of things and I can assure you, that feeling is real.” I have been listening to a book by Darren Hardy called Entrepreneur Roller Coaster. Today during my reading, he talked about how fear is not really real. It’s absolutely our mind playing tricks on us. We humans are really good at making mountains out of molehills. We tell ourselves that we’re afraid of something and the worst is going to happen, and we work ourselves up into a tizzy.
When you feel like you’re afraid of something, the first thing to do is ask yourself, “Is this fear real, or am I creating this situation in my head?” Here are 6 more tips for conquering fear once and for all in your life.
- Get real with yourself. Ask yourself what that fear really is and why is it popping up in your life. My oldest son, Nathaniel is afraid of striking out in his baseball games. He’s worked himself up about it so much that it actually keeps him from swinging the bat as hard as he can. He can’t commit to the swing fully, because he’s so afraid of striking out. I keep telling him that if the worst that will happen is striking out, who cares?! If you walk up to that plate and take your best swing at a fastball and you strike out, who cares? At least you tried your absolute best. His fear of the unknown is actually causing him more stress because it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- It’s the fear of fear that we fear. Have you ever thought about it this way before? The fear of fear is what we’re actually afraid of. My husband is afraid of heights, which is really funny because he was an F-15 fighter pilot for 21 years. Of course I have to tease him about it from time to time. He wasn’t afraid of it there because he was in control. Where heights bother him is when he’s not in control of the situation or his surroundings. We were on a really curvy road in Italy on vacation once and the road turned hard right suddenly and on the other side of the turn was a cliff. The feeling of that cliff being there so suddenly absolutely freaked him out. It’s a mindset that he’s created, so therefore he lives in fear of heights. However, it’s not really heights that he’s afraid of. It’s the fear of fear that’s actually paralyzes him.
- 20 seconds of courage is how you conquer fear. When I was in real estate, I had to cold call all the time, every day. I hated it. But I’ll tell you this, if I could muster up the courage to pick up the phone and make that call, it only took me about 20 seconds to get over that feeling. If you can take 20 seconds to actually do the thing that you’re most afraid of, and make yourself do it over and over again… guess what? It gets easier. You’ll realize pretty quickly that the fear was a waste of time and energy. So, here’s my assignment for you- 3 times a day, push through something you fear for that 20 seconds. If you can continuously stand up to your fear 3 times a day for 20 seconds, I promise you, it will change your life.
- Focus on the tasks, not the outcome. I love this. So much of the time, we get all wrapped up in what we want to achieve, that we don’t actually do the work to get there. The fear of not having the ideal outcome stifles us. It stops us in our tracks and creates a huge feeling over overwhelm that can be completely paralyzing. If you don’t let your mind get carried away with worry about the outcome, you are able to focus your energy on the tasks it takes to get there. Focus on the tasks. The outcome will be what it is.
- Make it a habit to do the things you fear the most. Pretty simple, right? If you’re afraid of something, the absolute best thing you can do for yourself is push past that and do the thing over and over and over again. It’s conditioning. One day you’ll wake up and realize that the things that used to be so scary to you, no longer have an effect.
- Make fear and failure fun. That sounds kind of crazy, doesn’t it? A lot of us have a fear of failing. Could be a fear of failing in our business, or a fear of failing when we start a health and fitness journey, or a fear of failing as a parent or a spouse. Here’s an important thing to remember- anything worth achieving is going to come with a certain amount of failure. Failure is something to celebrate, y’all! If you’re failing, you’re growing. If you’re growing, you are getting better. If you’re getting better, you’re that much closer to succeeding. If you’re not trying, you’re never going to fail… but you’re never going to succeed either. Embrace failure. Love it. Failure is truly how you move forward and make progress.
Thank you Darren Hardy for these incredible tips. I want to encourage you all to actively apply these tactics and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Say “no” to being afraid. Say “yes” to your awesome self and your true potential.
I pray that this post today inspires you and enlightens you. Push through the fear. Do it anyway. It will change your life.
Y’all have a blessed day.