Surrender! How do you feel when you hear that word? Does it make you tense up? Feel out of control? Are you filled with the urge to fight back, refusing to give up the reigns and surrender?
If you were sitting here next to me, you would be able to see my heart rate increase as we begin the conversation about Surrendering. I’m one that likes to have control and am definitely all about knowing the “plans”! I mean, if I’m honest, not much happens in my household without me being at the center of the plans. Planning is my thing!
Now, let’s pause to imagine God laughing as I type these words. Because, I KNOW, I provide humor for him on a daily basis! I mean, who am I kidding? I have NO CONTROL! I am not the Ultimate planner of my life and how it will unfold. HE is!
I’ve been spending a lot of time the past few months slowing down and being still. Working to give up the reigns I love so much to hold on to and just frankly, getting out of God’s way. Y’all, I can wholeheartedly tell you I am a work in progress…probably always will be but I’m making progress nonetheless. I am learning the beauty in what truly surrendering to God really means. I am finding peace and freedom in not “knowing” what the next step is all the time. Yes, I really just typed that! I know…crazy, right? But SOOO true, girl!
Right now I feel like God has placed a blind fold over my eyes to help me learn to blindly trust Him and let Him be the ruler over my life, day by day and minute by minute. Easy? Ummmmm…NO WAY! But I am starting to really see the fruit of being blind. Seeking God first every day and giving my relationship with Him quality time is becoming a deep rooted desire in my heart and mind every morning as I wake.
It is so easy to get wrapped up in the world! All the “Things”; I mean it really never ends, unless, WE make a choice. Choosing God, seeking Him for the next step in our lives instead of what people on Instagram or Facebook would lead us to believe is next; that is the sweet spot! God is the sweet spot! And He’s got me and you!
He works is so many amazing ways that my mind is continually blown. One of the things I have been praying for and asking for him to intervene in is to make me desire to want to spent more time with him. And because He is a good, good Father, that desire is growing by the day! And it isn’t just a quick 5 minutes of reading a devotional to check the box. It is reading multiple devotionals, scripture, journaling, being still and praying. And that time is beautiful! Sacred! A time when God lays things on my heart and speaks over me because I am making myself deaf to the noise of life during that time so I can BE with Him. I mean, REALLY, be present!
He is working in me and I know this will allow him to work through me too! So, while surrendering used to cause my entire body to grow tense, I am learning to lean in, laying my life and all that I have at his feet. Surrendering it all with a joyful heart and an excitement of how He will use this transformation for His good! And even when I have a lapse in judgement to try and take the reigns back, God is there is lovingly loosens my grip and reminds me that His plan is always going to be FAR greater than any plan I can orchestrate! And, I am beyond grateful for that reminder because I do believe that with every fiber of my being but old habits sometimes die hard!
Can I get an Amen?
Who am I? What a question, right?
Do you ever take time to really ask yourself this question and then actually EVALUATE the answer?
So, I know, I know…I have been EXTREMELY quiet for a few months now! When I say I have been going through a lot of reflection, reinvention and rest…I’m not joking!
The past 5 years have been a journey! A lot of learning, growing, laughing, crying, frustration, stress, celebration, pushing, fun, sacrifice, losing sight of what “really” matters and oh so much more!!!
You see, all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and a mom! When I was 29 I became a wife and when I was 32 my first son was born followed by my second when I was 34. Life was EXACTLY as I wanted it to be and prayed for it to be for SO long. I was blessed and happy but also began to feel lost and like I was losing myself! SO easy to do when you are in the throws of raising a family, right fellow mamas?
So, when my boys were 3 & 5 I decided to do something for me. I decided not only to work on my own health and fitness but to also start my own business helping others do the same.
I dove in head first with every ounce of my being! And I loved it! So many wonderful things about it! I was surrounded by amazing people, making amazing new friends and feeling needed while I was contributing to the world in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time.
Sounds all good, right? Well, the problem for me was; I started to allow the “business” to define me. Whether I was happy, sad, frustrated. Whether I felt accomplished, successful or like a failure was all determined by if I hit my monthly goals or if I was doing as well as “she” was! The comparison trap is OH SO REAL and VICIOUS!!!!
Now this is “MY” story and isn’t true for every person that decides to build their own business. But for me, I was missing the mark. And I don’t mean the mark in my business. I mean the mark in my LIFE!
I was allowing the wrong things to drive me, define me and determine my happiness! I had allowed myself to become so tense inside that I had NO IDEA how to just breathe and allow the cards to fall as they were meant to.
At least I had NO IDEA, until now! This story is far longer than I will share in one post, but my reality the past many months has been about remembering and understanding WHO I AM! Who God created me to be! Who I am as a wife, mom, daughter, sister and friend. I know God isn’t done with me yet! He has plans and I don’t know what those are yet but he pulled the rug out of from under me this past year to get my attention and help me refocus on the things that are the most important in life. My faith, my family, my friends and HIS purpose for me defined by no one else!
I have started a bible study that couldn’t have come along at a more perfect time! As I dive in it is helping me uncover insecurities, comparison and how to peel the layers of the onion back to get to the heart of who “Christy” is and who My FATHER created me to be!
So, for now, I am embracing time with my husband, my children, my family and friends. Time with God where I am working hard to listen and not just do all the talking! A challenge for me for sure! LOL!
REST is what God keeps saying! So, I am working on doing just that. No more agenda, pressure, comparison! Just me, in my lane, working to be the best version of myself as God intends!
My story will continue to unfold and I am at a place now where I am ready to begin sharing as I feel led to, not because I am pressuring myself with the “Oh my goodness I haven’t posted all day, I NEED to put something out there!” attitude!
I want to get back to being real, raw and authentic; agenda free! 2018 has a much different feel than the last few years have felt. I am excited for that and ready to see what God has in store!
Here’s to enjoying the journey and making progress in this life I have been given!
Do you ever stop and wonder if you want you are doing is making a difference in the lives of those around you? I was reminded recently that our efforts can make a bigger difference than we realize. I’m sharing what happened with you in hopes that it will help you recognize how your efforts MATTER to others and their journey in this life!
Every Step you take is Progress and it MATTERS! 🙂
Have you ever had A God-Given Vision? I seem to be experiencing those a lot lately!
When you have a vision that you know was given to you by God, there is always a crossroads where you have to make a choice! Do you decide to listen and do what you have to do to make it happen or do you RUN the other way??
A couple of months ago, God gave me a nudge to create my own Podcast! And I was like, “WHAT??” Me? Yes, it was scary but also exciting! Doubt came in to play. I wondered if I really had enough to offer others to warrant creating a Podcast! I prayed and prayed! God worked in my heart and mind! He showed me I do have things of value I can share that will, I PRAY, inspire, encourage, motivate and support others through the messages HE lays on my heart to share!
Well, today is a BIG DAY!!! A SUPER exciting Day!!! Can you tell I’m just a little excited??
The Progress Matters Podcast has LAUNCHED and I am BEYOND THRILLED to share it with all of you!!!!
If you decide to tune in, I pray these weekly messages help you to make progress in your life!
Every Step you take is PROGRESS & it Matters!
Visit https://progress-matters.com/podcast/ to gain access to the Podcast and subscribe so you get notified, each week, as new episodes are released!
Do you ever have days where you just feel a little “upsided”! Some days just don’t feel like things are flowing. Our Mojo isn’t present and to say we are flat is an understatement. BUT that doesn’t mean you give up or through in the towel! I know there are definitely times when that is my first thought, but if I can power through, I am reminded there is a much better solution! Maybe those upside down days are God’s way of saying, “Hey, trust in me and my guidance for your day and I will straighten it all out!!!
Be encouraged today and know that YOU always have God in your corner! And even when life is a little “out of whack”, everything is going to be ok!
Every step you take,(even if it is upside down), is PROGRESS, and it Matters!